Updates

The kids are still at Dot Dots, having a large time. Charles is seeking out some therapy for his depression over the next couple of weeks, I hope it helps him. Otherwise, we've been pretty boring.

Live Out Loud

"If you ask me what I came into the world to do, I will tell you I came to
live out loud." Emilie Zola

We fired the therapist today -- Charles just isn't comfortable seeing him, and given my concerns, I decided it was best. The kids are at Dot-Dot's house for a surprise vacation, so this should be interesting -- she hasn't had them all to herself in quite a while.

Nothing much else to say tonite, but I did find the quote above recently and thought it fit my personality.

Family Ponderings

Ever wanted to fire a therapist? I can't quite decide if I do or don't... not that he's done anything wrong, but I sure don't know what we are up to. We took the kids with us tonite -- he saw Duncan & Charles, then me & Duncan, then me & Connor. I got scolded for responding everytime my kids made a comment to me, and Duncan told me he was "very angry at us for punishing him". John (the counselor) did note that Duncan definitely has some learning disabilities, auditory processing being one of them (that's not exactly how he put it but I can't remember now), and that we needed to "love him alot" or he'd start rejecting our love. Hmmm..... I feel like I just fell down the rabbit hole. I know my "homework" is to stop explaining when I discipline, just "be in charge", to love my kids alot, but other than that... next step is how do I get control back...

The kids are upstairs right now watching "The Incredibles" -- we bought it after we took them to see it a few months back, and they caught a bit of it in the store. It's amazingly quiet at the moment.

I'll write more once I finish pondering, but I sure don't know if we accomplished anything tonite or not.

Ain't Nuttin' Up

The title refers to a song from the musical "The Robber Bridegroom"... we're having a pretty boring Saturday morning. Duncan came home Thursday; he seems glad to be home but to my dismay the fighting and arguing between the kids seems to have picked up right where it left off. I am hard at work practicing my even tone of voice as I work with the kids -- the four of us have a family counseling appointment on Wednesday. I have hopes it will help. Connor is making marginal improvement on potty training -- he woke up dry this morning, I was so proud. He's also starting to ask to go to the potty. wooHOO.

Dot goes home today -- I think the kids have been very much on her nerves with the fighting. She has been critical of their behavior, and is probably ready for a grandchild-free zone for a bit.

We had another in a minor string of financial disasters -- our brakes were checked a month or two ago, and we were told the brake pads were wearing, but we had several months to go. We've tried several times to get them looked at, but just didn't get there. Thursday night they started GRINDING, so I made Charles have them looked at Friday morning. Sigh... the front rotors were below spec, and had to be replaced -- $324.67. So we'll be eating alot of hot dogs and sandwiches until we catch up. The lawnmower is spewing gasoline everytime Charles tries to start it, and since I treated my lawn this spring, it's growing like crazy. The neighbor said we could borrow his lawnmower, so I can put off that problem for a wee bit.

Well, it's time for me to roust my sleepy husband for his turn on kid duty. Hope you all have a peaceful Saturday!

You Can Quote Me...

"If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it. " -Linda Furney

Very true, yes? Sorry, I tend to hide behind humor when I'm down or bored. Here's another one that struck my funny bone while surfing today:

"If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married." - - -Katherine Hepburn

These all came from here. Instead of working on some of my scrapbooking projects, or even something as low down as h-o-u-s-e-w-o-r-k I'm sitting here rambling. Duncan & Dot have decided he's not coming home this weekend, so we'll see when he actually comes home. Connor had company yesterday, 3 of Penny's kids, and today he's just been chatty and screechy (is that a word?) I have an urge to take the camera outside and play with it, I've been reading some photography articles on the web lately. I tried taking some of Mandy yesterday while Penny & the kids were here, but nothing came out that suited me.

Have a good Sunday, I might write more later...

Saturday Ramblings

"No one, Eleanor Roosevelt said, can make you feel inferior without your consent. Never give it." Marian Wright Edelman

I feel so uninspiring this morning. All my favorite blogs haven't updated since the last time I checked, I'm waiting for some friends to arrive for a visit, and I just feel... lost. Connor woke up in a marvelous mood this morning -- he's busy playing Spyro the Dragon on the PS2. My back is really tight today -- this one spot on my lower shoulder blade has been bad for about a week, but I'm starting to get tension in my neck too. I think the rainy, damp weather is part of it. I keep looking around my house and can't decide where to start. I have more CDs to add to my computer jukebox, I need to finish my other canvas project, I need to determine what pictures need to be printed so they can be added to the scrapbooks... Duncan has clothes that need washing... I could go on and on, and none of that inspires me to get up and DO something. Rainy Saturdays were meant for sleeping!

"... try being the right person."

"Rather than trying to find the right person, try being the right person. " unknown

I went to a humorous quote site on the internet, but this one popped out at me. I sure am trying awfully hard lately to be the right person... hmmmm...

I spoke to Dot today -- Duncan is enjoying his visit with her. We normally talk alot more with her while he's there; I guess all of us need the break from each other. Connor I think is really missing his brother, he had a sob session this morning because we washed his blanket. He went to Kidspot today -- Dad needed a break (and had a dental appointment) and I thought a change of scenery would be good for Connor.

I am really thinking I'm probably going to have to make an appointment with a psychiatrist to talk about a medication change -- I'm still very scattered and teary, which tells me the prozac isn't doing everything it should. I sat down tonite at the computer to kill some electronic blips, and to clear my head with some journal writing. I have the jukebox on my computer playing music and it's very peaceful -- Charles is depressed, so he went to bed early. I thought he had an online gaming session tonite (World of Warcraft) but I guess not!

Space for Rent

I have space for rent -- in my head -- I must have really needed a long weekend, as I can't think of much to say! Duncan headed to Charlotte on Saturday to spend a week w/Dot Dot. After he sent his precious gameboy swimming in the toilet, we managed to get everything but that game working again -- whew! I cleaned his room today; it's probably a good thing he wasn't here. I swear, I don't know how he walks past all that stuff. Plus I found the library book I just paid $9.96 to replace sitting right on top of his dresser in plain sight. Both he and Charles assured me they had looked and looked for it. Grrr!!! I also found a whole hamper full of clothes spread from one end of the room to another.... yet I am the one who sets "unreasonable expectations" in our house? Readers, am I the only one who thinks it's reasonable to expect the laundry fairy to clean ALL of the clothes, and remove ALL of the trash? I cleaned Connor's room yesterday -- and found a tied-up bag with a dirty pullup in it -- he hasn't worn a pullup in almost a month, yet that room has been "cleaned"...

OK, I didn't get on here to be nasty, but apparently I have some aggression to work out somewhere -- we don't have our next counseling appointment for about ten days. I'll go contemplate that and come back when I have more upbeat stuff to write.

Thursday Diversions

Well, you know what happens to the best laid plans... I got a call at 4:00 p.m. informing me our family had a "picnic date" with the Tomihiro's at their church playground. We got there about 5:30 p.m., and it was after 7:30 p.m. Cool, sunny, beautiful evening. Bob made deviled eggs (YUM), we had sandwiches & chicken, goldfish, chips & dip, watermelon, strawberries, flavor pops -- it was a great meal, and a nice diversion.

I spent the last hour playing ToonTown Online with Duncan, and now I'm off to enjoy the rest of my quiet evening!

Wednesday Tidbits

I am so very ready for 2nd grade to be OVER. Duncan had a wonderful time at his class picnic on Tuesday, but he was so tired Tuesday evening he was ill tempered. He fell asleep shortly after 7:15 on the couch. Tonite he's already asleep on the couch -- not sure what wore him out tonite, but he's o-u-t.

A couple of funnies to share -- we had our latest family counseling session and a long discussion over the potty troubles in our house, and left with a commitment to just let them be no big deal. Well the kids had been at Kid Spot during our session, and Connor had one accident there. They start tattling on each other in the car, and I give my usual speech about how we worry about ourselves. Well, the one-upmanship continued, and suddenly they are asking what kind of trouble their brother would get in if they pooped in their brother's pants.... it was sooo hard not to laugh. Both kids were pretty tickled at themselves. The other funny -- Charles and I were talking quietly last night when Duncan (asleep on the couch) suddenly started "roaring" in his sleep -- it was hilarious -- and then he sits upright with a sudden jolt. We laughed and laughed.

My "Dealing with Difficult People" class today was good -- more of the soft interpersonal skills but good stuff. Last night I vegetated in front of the tv watching American Idol and Rob and Amber Get Married. Tonite I'll watch the American Idol final results. Work is getting busier -- I picked up another project from a teammate and it's gonna kick my butt for a while. I got my 15th anniversary-at-wachovia present yesterday -- a new set of luggage (my choice from the gift catalog). Saturday we take Duncan to Charlotte for a week with Dot.

I might have more to say later, but I'm trying hard to write in this as close to daily as I can, so I simply sat down to write even if I hadn't thought my whole day through. Thanks for reading!

Short Thoughts

Summer crazy season is already here, and it's not even summer. Duncan couldn't find his glasses this morning so I finally got him to put his new glasses on. He has a picnic field trip at school today that I can't go to because I have to teach a class. I'll write more by tomorrow, but I didn't want my loyal fan (or maybe there's two?) to feel neglected.

Twice In One Day

OK, wow, two posts in one day. I had shared my day lily about to bloom a bit ago, well it's bloomed and here are the pictures!

Sunday Stuff

I can't believe it's Sunday already -- last week flew. Duncan started his new medication on Wednesday and I see an improvement. He's taking clonadin -- it's supposed to help his ritalin LA by giving him better impulse control. It also has a side effect of making him sleepy -- a bonus I think because he's never gotten enough sleep. I see a definite rebound about 6:00 p.m., but otherwise he's much calmer. We'll see how things go.

Connor continues on his overdue potty training journey. Today marks two weeks since the last pull-up. We're having LOTS and LOTS of accidents, but I do find it's getting easier to not crumble in the face of urine soaked clothes or worse. He has to clean himself up, deposit his clothes in the proper places.... Charles isn't handling the extra laundry gracefully, but then he's home w/him during the week. Connor has woken up dry several times, so I keep praying we're gonna get there SOON.

Duncan will be heading off to Camp Dot Dot next Saturday after school ends for a week. Connor isn't eligible for Camp Dot Dot until he's potty trained, and we've told him this. While I'm in Charlotte we're gonna stop by Penny's and deliver some hand-me-downs.

Tomorrow marks my 15th anniversary with my employer, Wachovia. Wow, so very hard to believe. This is only my 2nd job since college! I got to choose a "gift" out of a catalog -- I'm tired of not having luggage so I picked a 3 piece set of luggage. I hope it gets here soon!

I'm off to update my webpage -- since Geocities "ate" it I've barely gotten the page back up, mostly due to lack of time. I am now using the url Susan had, www.thefodels.com, so come check it out!

Confessions of a Reality TV Fan

OK enough everyday blather. Let’s talk about something fun. I freely admit I’m a big reality tv fan. Tonite marks the next-to-last episode of America’s Next Top Model on UPN. I enjoy it on two levels – being able to see what being a model is really about, and watching the coaching/psychology aspect of selecting a winner. I frequent a message board that talks (read bashes) a lot of different reality tv shows. They whine constantly about how some of the eliminated girls would have made better models. Perhaps, but that’s not what this show is about. Cover Girl and Ford Models are the primary sponsors of this show. This is about who would be the best girl to represent the sponsors. If you really study the critiques offered by the judges, they talk a lot about the girls learning the modeling industry lingo, players, expectations, skills… there was an interesting challenge a few weeks back where the girls had to critique each other. It was so very obvious that Kahlen & Naima knew a lot about what the photographers were looking for, and what kind of expectations there were for the model’s behavior & knowledge. Brittney was drop dead GORGEOUS, but this wasn’t a job to her, it was having fun taking pictures. Guess what, she’s gone! Keenyah always presents herself so intelligently in person, and takes lovely pictures, but she’s gained 10 lbs since the show started, and I’m guessing she’s going home tonite. I can’t see where Cover Girl wants a representative with no self control when she’s being paid $100,000/yr.

Tonite is also the results show for American Idol. I started watching when Clay Aiken was on, and while Fantasia’s music isn’t always my favorite, I still get chills listening to Summertime. Last night we saw just Vonzell, Carrie & Bo. Finally, FINALLY we saw performances that left you amazed – well at least finally since Constantine was eliminated. Bo did three amazing songs – he’s my bet for the next American Idol.

Survivor ended this past Sunday – my Thursdays are free again, as will all my nights be after next week until Big Brother starts up. I really like this genre of tv – it is such a wonderful people-watching opportunity. I’m learning a lot about how people interact by studying some of these shows.

On the Horizon

Our friend Stacy is planning on passing through in June – she and her new husband are moving to China with his new job sometime soon. They will be there for 6 years, and I am so envious of her adventure. Duncan has field day today, and then his class picnic next week, and then 2nd grade will be OVER and summer vacation will be here. Connor had his last Gymboree play class this week – Duncan can’t attend, so we’re taking the summer off. We are pondering plans for Memorial Day weekend, but nothing is firm yet. I have to take the car today and have the brakes checked – we’re not sure if they need work or not, and then the kids have their dental cleanings today. Busy afternoon!

I may have to rethink daily entries -- weekly is sounding much more feasible, at least today. I am busy jotting down notes for Duncan's appt with Dr. Hoover tomorrow -- since we went back on the Ritalin LA, he's having lots of "accidents" with his toileting. It was Charles who noticed we didn't have that problem on focalin. Hmmm, that's the #1 issue for the pyschiatrist. He's also still talking incessantly, and about topics that have nothing to do with the task at hand. On the plus side, his anxiety is down quite a bit, and his fine motor skills are showing noticeable improvement (they had deteriorated on the focalin).

We had a hot weekend -- the air conditioning stopped working last week. We called the repair folks, and they came out yesterday. I was relieved when they knew immediately what the problem was -- the capacitor cylinder was shot, and it was in dire need of a new filter (the old one was black). I'm now $205 poorer, but the house is much more comfortable.

On the outside of our house, my quest for a better lawn continues. It's been a little over 2 weeks since we put the Scot's Turf Builder on the front yard -- the grass is growing more, but I'm not sure if the weeds paid any attention. My day lilies are about to bloom -- here's what they looked like about 2 weeks ago: . Dad sent them home with me last year, so I was proud of getting them to grow in MY garden. The neighbors planted some flowering bushes on the strip between our driveways, so those should be pretty this summer too.

OK, I've babbled enough for today -- see you later in the week!

Time Challenged

Ack, I missed another day! I got really busy over the weekend in some activities on my favorite message board, and Sunday just slipped away from me. More tonite!

Fluoxetine, Greek Food, and IEPs

I missed a day -- I'm so sorry! Friday was a really hectic day. Duncan's eligibility for services through the school system's exceptional children's (EC) department has to be reaffirmed every three years, and we had that meeting Friday. It was supposed to be 30 minutes, lasted two hours! After the chinese fire drill last week with compliance sticking their nose in, I was pleased to get it signed.

We also passed another milestone on Friday -- we started some family counseling. There are just so many issues with Duncan and other stuff between Charles & I - we agreed it might be time for some help. I also finally got my prozac refilled -- I didn't mean to let it slip, but when I saw the last filled date ... our next appointment is on Monday 5/23. Duncan sees the pyschiatrist again on Wednesday 5/18 -- I think he's definitely better back on the ritalin LA, but we're still missing some areas of help. School has noticed a turn for the better, so did Kidspot, but we've regressed in an area or two. Hopefully Dr. Hoover will have some ideas.

This weekend was the annual Greek Festival here in Winston-Salem. We met some friends and went over for dinner. Wayyy too crowded, but the food was yummy. Charles had a gyro, I had souvlaki. We sampled two desserts, baklava and a donut thing (starts with an L), and then headed home. Connor tried the souvlaki, but promptly spit it out. He's such a good eater, and rarely complains even when he doesn't like what he's served. I figured why waste the yummy food on him.

Today my favorite scrapbooking forum, Scrap Addict, hosted day one of their National Scrapbook Day activities. I played bingo (lost), am actively working on a project as part of a photo scavenger hunt, and as soon as Duncan & Charles go to bed I'll be working on a canvas project.

I am truly hoping tomorrow is a cooler day. Our air conditioning isn't working, and the repair folks won't be here until Monday. Our neighbors planted some new bushes today, and we need to get out and mow the grass & work on weeding my flower beds. My day lilies are starting to bud, so I hope I have more flowers soon.

Not Much More

I promised I'd write more tonite, so here I am, but I'm not feeling very wordy. My stress level has knotted up my back once again, so I am looking to try and get an anti-stress massage tomorrow. We'll see if the new masseuse I found has time to accomodate me. My local scrapbook store, Scrapbook Traditions, had a "ladies night" last Thursday and offered free massages -- which of course I got there early to sign up for.

Tonite was the next-to-last episode of Survivor: Palau. I'm going to miss it, but I'm kinda glad all the reality tv shows I watch are about to end for the summer. Less temptation to sit and vegetate. I haven't touched my scrapbooking stuff in weeks, and I need to get back in the groove. This weekend they are celebrating National Scrapbooking Day (which was last Saturday) on my favorite sb website, Scrap Addict, so I plan to play bingo and work on some challenges. Saturday night we are headed out to the local Greek Festival with another family.

Sorry to let you down with no interesting content -- but I'm determined to make this journal writing a habit again, and I had to write *something*. See you tomorrow!

In short...

Not a huge amount of time this morning -- I will write more tonite. My personal webpage has moved from Geocities (and I WILL have more to say on them) and is currently located at http://cfodel.gullum.net. It will not be going back to Geocities. Duncan fell asleep on the couch last night so I'm hopeful he'll have a better day today with some good sleep. I still didn't sleep great last night but I feel alot better today. Tonite is Survivor, and then I will finish getting what's in my head down in the blog. Have a great day!

"If you're gonna be stupid, you need to be tough." W. Dinkins

I thought the above quote summed up life pretty nicely! Duncan got in trouble at school today for throwing dirt, which really surprised me -- he isn't normally a behavior problem. I am SOOOO ready for his medication to get straightened out -- we see the pyschiatrist again on 5/18 and if needed we'll add something else -- we're currently considering risperdol & clonadin. (Thx Stacy!) His allergies have been acting up again since the weather turned warm as well.

Charles is feeling a wee bit better with his sinus/infection & bronchitis, but he still feels pretty lousy. We cheated on dinner tonite and just made sandwiches. I did buy the kids some canteloupe, and added some of the strawberries from this weekend to their plates. Neither one came begging for food around 7:00 so maybe it filled 'em up?

Any American Idol fans out there? I watched tonite, and was amazed at how much Anthony has improved from last week. It will be a tough call to see who goes. I've got The Amazing Race on in the background -- I haven't watched it all season, but I'm curious to see who wins.

This is gonna be a boring one tonite -- I want to share a little bit about our IEP excitement from Friday, and comment on American society a bit after they arrested one of the fathers of the two murdered 8 yr olds, but I'll save it for later in the week.