Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Hump Day Ponderings

My boss told me this morning she was going to change my title to "Bonnie's Personal Translator" because, as she puts it, "I know I'm speaking english, but they sure don't seem to understand it!" At least my day started with a laugh!

I felt like I hit the lottery today -- I filled up my gas tank this morning at $2.55/gallon. By the time I left work it was $2.99/gallon. My MIL says they are worried that Charlotte will run out of gas here soon due to no deliveries in the past few days. I am really worried about gas prices.

Duncan had a bad day at school. Charles screwed up and gave him his night time meds this morning -- third time in a year this has happened. So I now have to make it MY job to give him his medications. Connor had a pretty good day today -- Charles put them both in our inflatable pool this afternoon so they got some much needed outside time.

I'm off to go work on some scrapbooking stuff!

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Almost "Fall"

Wow, is it really the last day of August tomorrow? Duncan continues to get great notes from school -- although he argued alot about ordinals repeatedly during homework last night. He actually fell asleep on the couch tonite -- check out the photo-a-day log I'm keeping to see.

We have a busy weekend upcoming -- I've got two secret shops to do, my friend Stacy is supposed to come in to visit Friday night, and Charles' mom is headed in on Saturday. Duncan & Connor need backpacks, I desparately need to edge the yard, and I'm behind on some Christmas gifts I'm working on. Ah well, we'll see what gets done!

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Third Grade

And so the first day of third grade begins! I took several pictures of Duncan at the bus stop this morning, but this was the only one where he didn't give me a "serious" face. We was actually easy to get up and moving this morning which surprised me. His planner note said he had a great day, and when he got home he went right to his homework. WooHOO!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Giraffe Rides and A New School Year

Bet THAT got your attention... hahahha...

Our Saturday was fun -- we went out and saw March of the Penguins at the theater with our friends the Tomihiros. Connor got bored and was in and out of the theater, but I really enjoyed the movie. Dot & Susan took Duncan to see it on Sunday. He had studied penguins in school last year, so he really enjoyed it. But on to the bigger news of the week.

My mother-in-law called Saturday, and informed us instead of bringing Duncan home on Sunday, could Charles & Connor meet them at the Lazy 5 Ranch on Monday instead? But of course! We told Connor when he started balking at bedtime Sunday night that he needed his sleep because he had a "big day" tomorrow seeing wild animals... well on the ride to take me to work on Monday we were talking about it, and he informed me he was going to get to ride a giraffe today. LOL -- I told him he was going to SEE a giraffe. And he did -- even got to feed one! Image hosted by
They had a lovely time at the ranch -- they have a wagon ride that you can go on to see and feed the animals. Susan used my camera so I wouldn't have to miss the whole thing. I think all three of my boys had a good time. They were certainly exhausted Monday night.

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Today we attended open house at Duncan's school -- can you believe he's going into 3rd grade?! I was so glad we went -- he has the same teacher as last year, but they moved his classroom. One of the assistants in his room, Mr. Cann, moved to West Forsyth HS, so Ms. Steward is now there. She was familiar with some of the techniques used with sensory problems, so I was very encouraged. We signed up for the PTA, bought Duncan one of the new school tshirts, and a magnet for our car.

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Tomorrow is a "free day" for Charles and the kids, and then school starts on Thursday.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Tears and Frowns

I guess it's my day to be in a down mood. I've been having hot flashes really badly all week, haven't slept well, and generally haven't felt good this week. I brought home some work to do this weekend, but haven't gotten motivated yet. I got really depressed last night and cried alot -- although it did get me to clean Connor's room -- ewwwww. Charles keeps pointing out how well he's keeping the house -- there is dried shit on Connor's carpet I have to deal with today, and we haven't tackled Duncan's room yet. I guess Charles couldn't see the shit for all the toys on top of it?

I get so angry sometimes. I actually work 40 hrs a week. I know keeping kids is work, but is it too much to ask that he do housework too? He'll proudly demand I "notice" that he cleaned when I get home. OK, so he ran the vacuum for 45 seconds today. If I say anything about something that needs doing I'm "raising my standards".

And yet, I'm still motivated to try and make things work. And because of this I have been told I'm keeping secrets, rambling... well you know what, I'm a pretty open person. Except when sharing information gets me attacked. I don't like to fight. When I care about someone's opinion I'm very non-confrontational. Can I explain why I care about the opinion of a man who keeps a nasty house and wants me to praise it? No... when I figure it out my readers will be the first to know. One piece of advice I've gotten is to quit the best job I've ever had and move home. Hmmm, can barely make ends meet on what I make now, constantly get criticism that I don't manage my money well enough -- so I should go to $0 income... plus I don't want to live where I grew up. My job is the only part of my life right now that makes me feel good, besides my children. On my task list is to call a therapist I fired because he told me *I* needed to change so my marriage would work, and ask him to write up his comments about Connor's potty issues to try and get him into a preschool. Yep, I'm motivated to do that. I do good to get lunch some days, my boss is pressuring me to work overtime, yep, I've got tons of time to write those kind of letters or make phone calls. Oh, do it when I get home after 40+ hours? But when would I get my husband's job done, or give him the attention I deny him?

Sorry, apparently I needed to vent a little. Don't get me wrong, I think any readers are entitled to their opinion of me, good or bad. You're even entitled to express it. Just understand that my response might be an emotional blog entry.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Blah Blah Blah

Brace yourselves... this will probably a very bland entry. The bipolar mood swings continue -- Charles was depressed and combative last night, and today he is all smiles and upbeat. Connor has been in good humor lately other than being frustrated at Toon Town -- the other kids often won't include him when he's in cashbot headquarters, and if he's tired he cries over it.

Work has been incredibly busy. One of my team quit in July, and we are really starting to feel the effects of being down a person. My boss is lumping more on me, and I'm not keeping up very well at the moment. A few weeks back I traded this week as vacation for a week at the end of October. Duncan has a school break then.

I am busy trying to find a preschool that will take Connor since he's not 100% potty trained. We've all agreed he needs the time out of the house, and Charles would benefit from it. Connor missed the age cutoff for kindergarten this year by just a month, so he needs something to go to.

Did I mention I've started doing "secret shopping"? A friend clued me in to how to get on as a mystery shopper for a local grocery store chain -- thru that site I've found others that do merchandising audits, fast food shops, restaurant shops, even a gas station one. I'm hoping it will bring in some extra pocket cash, and lots of times you get reimbursed for purchases too.

Some days I wish I didn't have such good taste. My current wishes-and-wants list is getting long with items way out of my price range. I'd like to get an iPod, I've seen a computer desk I like so much better than my current one, and an awesome scrapbooking armoire. The scrapbook armoire/desk was "only" $1700.00.... think I should just run right out and order it? LOL -- at least I have my list ready if I ever hit the lottery!

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Our Weekend in Charlotte

Ladies, I'm sure you all agree, every now and then there has to be a little "me" time. Well I took mine this past weekend. I almost didn't get there. Wednesday I drove to work -- and at 5 after 2:00 I got a panicked call from Charles telling me he and Connor were romping on our bed and Connor fell off and got a lovely gash on his head. I've shared the pictures here, they aren't that great... (yes I took a camera to the dr).
So I go flying out of work and home to rush him to the doctor. Nothing too serious, but he was awfully sleepy and he staggered a bit, so we had to watch him for concussion symptoms for 24 hrs. Thursday morning we went to pull out of the driveway and this horrific grinding noise starts. WTH -- I had just had the brakes done (rotors no less) to the tune of $324 in June. So we detour to Midas. And when we get there the guy says he thinks it's the calipers. Thankfully it turned out to be a broken pin that holds the pads -- $28 and no real harm done, except I was an hour late to work.

Sooo, yes I did make it to Charlotte Thursday evening. Friday Charles dropped me at the Charlotte convention center for the Creating Keepsakes Scrapbooking Convention. I had bought class tickets in June. Over the next two days I took five classes -- everything from card making to grungy boy layouts. I had a lovely time, though I was exhausted. I spent very little at the vendor faire, but had a great time looking, and catching up with some of my cyber buddies from the NCMemory Makers list.

Saturday night, the rule of 3s struck -- we are still struggling with Connor & potty training. The therapist says Connor is using it as a control issue due to the stress in the house from Charles' illness etc. Charles and Dot don't agree. Well, I was laying down taking a nap, and apparently Connor had a potty accident. Next thing I know Charles' temper ERUPTS. He got so mad he broke a wooden spoon over the toilet, and scraped up his knuckles when he hit the wall. I really need more
education and support about bipolar disease. I am still upset -- I can't live with this kind of temper and strife in my family. I want to give Charles every opportunity to get the help he needs to be the best father & husband he can be -- but I can't continue to allow the effects of his illness on my kids and me... so I ponder my choices. Charles is very contrite and remorseful, but I'm just not sure I can stay the course. Connor will start preschool 1/2 days in September, and I will be working toward improving our finances to position us for whatever the right choice turns out to be.

I feel so inadequate some days.... those of you that have joined me in blogville... thanks for letting me into your lives. Seeing that we all struggle with our own issues and day-to-day decisions helps me feel normal. I'm sorry if I don't find time to post comments on your blogs, but I do read them (Deanna, Julie, Robin, Toni, Tara, Elyse, Courtney.. and others)

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Duncan's Birthday

As I mentioned in my last post, we decided on Chuck E Cheese for Duncan's birthday party. I choked a bit on the price, but my mother-in-law helped out a bit. Fast forward to party day... we are driving home from my work and Duncan asks about his party. "What party?" I deadpan... and he eagerly informs me it's his irthday... "It is???" I know, I'm a bad mom to tease him so.

He got really REALLY excited when we arrived at Chuck E Cheese. I must say, if you haven't had an official party there, it's worth it. Our table was decorated at our arrival with a big sign that said "Duncan is 9". He and his guests got 40+ tokens each, and other than eating time and when Chuckee came to visit us in person, we only saw them when they brought tickets back or got more tokens. His friend CJ (and mom Janet) came, and the Tomihiro family came and brought nephew Scott too. Duncan was so excited about his Yu-Gi-Oh dealing thing from Dot Dot he squealed when
opening his presents. He also tried to ride his new scooter from Mom and Dad around the restaurant. His other big gift was from my parents -- a new hood/light for his fish tank and two new plecostomus. He's very excited to have his fish tank lit again.

We spent over 3 hours at the party, then Duncan left to head to Charlotte with Dot & Susan. Connor opened his "birthday brother" gift from Grandma & Granddad when we got home and hugged them all the way to bed (little Tonka friends). I was exhausted, but pleased. I think we'll be doing the same party for Connor in November.