Monday, February 27, 2006
Sunday, February 26, 2006
My whole house is contagious!
Friday, February 24, 2006
|you chose AX - your Enneagram type is SEVEN. |
"I am happy and open to new things"
Adventurers are energetic, lively, and optimistic. They want to contribute to the world.
How to Get Along with Me
What I Like About Being a Seven
What's Hard About Being a Seven
Sevens as Children Often
Sevens as Parents
Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele
The Enneagram Made Easy
Would you rather have chosen:
|Link: felk on The Quick and Painless ENNEAGRAM Test written by Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test|
Thursday, February 23, 2006
For a long while, Blaine was just... hollow. He gradually seemed more "normal", but still a shadow of sadness. Fastforward to Mother's Day 2005. Charles & the kids and I saw Blaine come into Mayberry's with his wife, whose arm was in a sling (she'd had a fall at church that morning). Long story short, as I was talking to them, Blaine shared they were working on adopting a little girl from China. (I'm getting to the point of the story soon, I PROMISE.) It really uplifted alot of us to know they were adopting -- Blaine has said he wasn't done being a parent. They are #2 in line to go, and hope to go to China in May... I had lunch with Blaine one day and we were talking about adoption... he was sharing some of the obnoxious comments he's gotten on it... "Why do you have to go to China to get a child?!" I loved Blaine's answer to this one "Because that's where she is!" I am always really stunned by people who get negative reactions when they adopt. I was reading a friend's blog today and this story came to mind because someone was asking her about her youngest who was adopted from China. Another lady at work came home in November with a son from Guatemala. Other friends from work just celebrated their adopted daughter's 6th birthday -- they got her when she was 2 days old -- their son is 12 I think. When Lisa got her daughter, she commented to me about how supportive I'd been through their process, and how few people were. It just surprises me. I always think people who adopt are like "extra special" parents!
Do you ever look back and realize you’ve really changed from who you used to be? Does it bug you like it bugs me? I know some changes are inevitable, driven by the choices we’ve made. Getting an MP3 player for Valentine’s has made me realize how much I’ve missed “my” music. Charles and I have VERY different tastes. Somehow I’ve just stopped listening like I used to. I guess with all the “noise” of a family I couldn’t handle more.
I have some great friends. One of my very handy friends is coming up in a week or two, and we’re going to toss all three boys out and get some badly needed home repairs (like recaulking my bathtub & weather-stripping the doors)… I feel so… energized this morning. There’s a technical term for when databases on computers get locked up by conflicting requests – they can have deadly embraces or simply an enqueue. I think that’s where Charles and I are in our relationship at the moment – we just can’t seem to get forward motion. Maybe this outside influence, someone to energize me (by home repairs of all things) will be good for us?
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
“If you hear that someone is speaking ill of you, instead of trying to defend yourself you should say: "He obviously does not know me very well, since there are so many other faults he could have mentioned" ^Epictetus^
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
My Scrappin' Survivor team lost immunity Saturday, but I survived the vote. I've already gotten another 5 pages done and submitted them, including my favorite which is posted over on the photo blog. Our challenge for this week is to scrap about things/people that have happened in the last year -- kind of wrecks my momentum on old stuff, but I'd like to get more pages done before this challenge is up. The other team has someone on exile island, so I'm hoping we make it harder for her to escape exile.
Connor came down with croup -- he sounded horrible this morning. They put him on steroids at the doctor's office, and we have already seen a remarkable improvement. Charles had a counseling appointment today -- she doesn't see him again for a month. I really have struggled lately -- Charles and I are having differences, and while I think his current mindframe (re: Bipolar Disease) is better, I don't feel like we are where we need to be. I just struggle with the next steps.
Tonite I'm going to be a TV junkie -- flipping between American Idol and the Olympics. Last thought for the day (I saw this on Amy's blog) -- even if you don't have anything tremendous to say, drop me a "Hello" in the comments once in a while so I know you were here, ok?
Saturday, February 18, 2006
I need to rearrange our banking situation -- he sneaked another $20 out of the ATM today. I know overspending is a tendency of folks with bipolar... but he's gonna bankrupt us!!
Now to say something nice, since I've been a poison pen lately... my favorite scrapbook store has a quarterly all day crop, which happens to be tomorrow. Charles is letting me go ALL day and keeping the kids. I did have to "bribe" him with a $23 book from Amazon.Com, but I'm sooo looking forward to a day of peace and creativity.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
So after twelve minutes of effort (yes, I timed it) my sink has improved, not quite to fly lady shiny sink standards, but better, and the dishwasher is running.
And so start the tears. Is this me, that I'm just "lazy" or "selfish" that I don't just pitch in? What is HE doing to maintain our marriage and our home. What kind of mom am I that I allow our kids to be in the middle of this? Burning questions that I wish I had answers to.
I just posted some really upsetting (to me) pictures to my photo blog of the state of my house. Another blogger that I follow posted about something recently, and noted that she wanted help keeping herself honest, so I'm trying to keep ME honest that I have some issues to work through.
Two years ago, Charles begged for the opportunity to be a stay at home dad. We talked about how this wasn't being unemployed, it was making being our "domestic engineer" his job, and what I was expected to do with housework, which wasn't much. We agreed upon this.
Go look at the picture of my kitchen sink. Go look at the picture of my youngest son's room -- I've posted about shoveling it out recently, and look where it is tonite. I don't feel very blessed at the moment, yet I feel like doing it myself is allowing him to coast. I don't feel taken care of. We disagree, and sometimes even fight on a regular basis about how I don't "appreciate him". Would y'all appreciate being taken care of like this? Would you let a 5 yr old's room get to this state and blame it on him?
I know he has a disease (bi-polar depression) that can be debilatating at times. But what I don't know is how he can think he is doing his part for our family. He's so hard to fight with -- he's very good at emotional blackmail. He pouts. He sulks. He blames it on the fact that I don't show him enough how much I love him. Well I love him, but I don't like him very much right now. KWIM?
Monday, February 13, 2006
After work we headed to the card store to get valentines for the kids to give -- sheesh, after cards, small gifts for teachers... we spent $25! After dinner I sat the kids down to address their valentines. Even Connor in preschool can sign his name to the cards.
We talked to our friends Lisa & Bob -- they had an eventful weekend. Apparently the exhaust for their dryer had gotten clogged, and it caught their dryer on fire (flames!) and burned it up. Luckily they had a smoke detector in the laundry room and discovered it very quick, but the dryer and the contents are a loss. We took a couple of hand-me-down coats over as their almost 2 yr old's winter coat was in the dryer. Made me feel useful to fill that void so Lisa didn't have to hurry and hunt a coat.
After dinner Charles let me open my Valentine's present -- an MP3 player, just like his. I've already loaded it with 128 songs and am happily listening. Tomorrow at work will be cool!
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Connor's toe is improving -- it's not nearly as swollen and the soaking is helping to eliminate the horrid drainage. He's not complaining about it, and is rather proud that he has medicine too. Both kids have been little beasts this weekend... sassy, disrespectful, shouting, fighting, uncooperative. I really haven't enjoyed any of the males in the house this weekend.
On an up note, I am starting a game of Scrappin' Survivor tomorrow on one of my lists. Hopefully that will kickstart me a bit. I'm still knitting on my knifty looms -- made Duncan & Charles hats, and am now working on Connor's.
I was very sad to see Michelle Kwan have to withdraw from the Olympics, although it shows what a class act she is.
Anyways, I'm still here, just not very motivated to write anything.
Friday, February 10, 2006
I on the other hand am suffering from a stiff neck/shoulder morning, and just the general blahs. Sigh!
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Duncan's pack had their "Blue/Gold" banquet/den meeting tonite. One of the activities was a father/son dessert contest.
There were 3 awards -- best scout theme, "wish mom had helped", and best in class. Duncan made "Fluff", a diabetic friendly dessert, and all dad did was help stir. And he won best in Class!!! GO DUNCAN!!!
Well... we've got one teen who speeds up and down the street constantly. Apparently he almost hit the neighbors dog this morning. And he got a MAJOR chew out by the neighbor... I'm still laughing. Scott went postal on him (Scott has two teenagers) and George deserved every single word of it. I do so enjoy when I'm not the only one with a concern. Sorry, George, kharma is a BITCH!