Why is it when you try so very hard to do the right things by your kids it seems to backfire in your face? I sent Charles to scouts the other night with Duncan -- I just wanted a break, and I knew it wasn't a terribly busy night for that.
Today I talked to our den leader. In the nicest possible way she let me know he had been WILD that night. It isn't entirely his fault -- his medications that keep him somewhat calm wear off by that time of night, and if I give him his nighttime meds sometimes he gets sleepy. Charles was overwhelmed that night so he was no help to her... and she gently hinted that she was wondering if Duncan was the reason why some of the kids in our den hadn't been showing up. It made me feel about an inch tall. I'm sitting here sobbing but I need to get this OUT. It really makes me rethink scouts... for both kids. Duncan isn't average, and he never will be, but it's so frustrating to be made to feel like you're hurting other's enjoyment of an activity (note, I'm frustrated at other parents, not the den leader). Now I'm torn -- do I just quietly fade into the background? Do I medicate him during this rough period (he's normally NO fun at all this time of the spring) to get him artificially calm so he doesn't distract from others? How do I bring a second hyperactive child into scouts?
And while I'm annoyed that Charles just doesn't step up and deal with it, in my heart of hearts I know he's not up to it. So then I'm stuck with can I handle both kids without his help???
This is like karate all over for Duncan... he wanted to be there, but it just got to the point where no one could enjoy it with him there in a class. I don't want scouts to be that way for him, I'd rather fade before his feelings get hurt (not that he has noticed so far)... I'm just so hurt, torn, frustrated...