Monday

Back to work after 6 days off with either sick kids or sick me... over 1000 emails to wade through. Fortunately 495 could be deleted without reading, but it's been a LONG day.

I give a big CHEER and HUG to my friend Stacy, who gave up her weekend to come push me through some household repairs. We got a TON done, and I give her major "props" for motivation. I was so tired last night I went to bed at 7:30.

Connor is a popular party boy -- he's been invited to another party next Saturday. We really like this family so I'm looking forward to it. Adam is his big buddy at preschool, and will be turning 5.

Duncan & Connor are both responding well to "responsibility charts" Stacy and I acquired and hung for them. Each day they meet their items they get a positive mark on their chart. Both kids are busting to get "stars". At the end of this week I'll take a picture of each kid with his chart.

It's going to be a busy month for us... tomorrow is cub scouts, and kindergarten registration, and a psychiatrist visit for Duncan. Wednesday is a dental visit for me and speech for Connor, then two choir rehearsals for Duncan and one for Connor. Nothing Thursday, but then Friday night is the cub scout sleepover at the local children's science museum. Whew. I'm tired already!

Blog Nonsense - Blame Melissa

Animated Inventor

You are an Animated Inventor.
About You
You are an Inventor

Your imagination, self-reliance, openness to new things, and appreciation for utility combine to make you an INVENTOR.

You have the confidence to make your visions into reality, and you are willing to consider many alternatives to get that done.

The full spectrum of possibilities in the world intrigues you—you're not limited by pre-conceived notions of how things should be.

Problem-solving is a specialty of yours, owing to your persistence, curiosity, and understanding of how things work.

Your vision allows you to identify what's missing from a given situation, and your creativity allows you to fill in the gaps.

Your awareness of how things function gives you the ability to come up with new uses for common objects.

It is more interesting for you to pursue excitement than it is to get caught up in a routine.

Although understanding details is not difficult for you, you specialize in seeing the bigger picture and don't get caught up in specifics.

You tend to more proactive than reactive—you don't just wait for things to come to you.

You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well.

You do your own thing when it comes to clothing, guided more by practical concerns than by other people's notions of style.

Generally, you believe that you control your life, and that external forces only play a limited role in determining what happens to you.


If you want to be different:

Try applying your creativity to more artistic arenas, and letting your imagination take less practical forms.


How You Relate to Others
You are Animated

You are outgoing, comfortable with others, and up for anything, which makes you ANIMATED.

Some people find crowds and parties exhausting, but not you! You are energized by spending time with others, and are able to be yourself in many situations.

Sometimes it is hard for you to understand why others feel the way they do, but that doesn't stop you from trusting them or having faith that they are good people.

You know the world is complicated and that there is often more than one side to a story, so you are careful not to make judgments about others too hastily.

You would rather experience the world than sit back and observe it—you are not one to sit on the sidelines.

You are an independent thinker and don't get too worried about how others might perceive you—you are not self-conscious about being the active, engaged person that you are.

Although you have a keen understanding of different people's life circumstances, you occasionally have trouble seeing why people get so upset and emotional about things—they should just lighten up and have fun!

In addition to having faith in the world, you have faith in the people around you—you trust others to do the right thing and to be honest.


If you want to be different:

Those who are as outgoing as you are often need to remind themselves that time alone can be just as fulfilling—take some time for yourself and you might find that there are many things in your inner world that are just as compelling as the world outside your window.

Your open-mindedness about the world gives you a great perspective on things, but your lack of trust in others limits how close you can get with them. Try opening up to others a bit more without losing your healthy skepticism.

Still here, still sick

I'm still running a fever, just like Duncan. The only positive note is coughing today seems to be productive. I'm sweating and tired. Connor is on day 2 back at school, and it has helped. We have very quiet mornings without both of them here. They actually started a physical fight yesterday afternoon -- Duncan shoved Connor away from the computer and Connor responded by throwing a punch -- UGH.

On the subject of lent, not that I've ever made a practice of giving something up, but this year I thought I'd give up "raising my voice" for lent. What do you think? *I* think I've captured the spirit of the season...

Another Day In the life of Typhoid Mary

My nose is running and I don't feel like chasing it. I think Connor is going back to school tomorrow, we'll see about Duncan. We shovelled Duncan's room today -- got four bags of trash out of it, and he now gets to earn back his yu-gi-oh cards 5 per day that his room stays neat. Charles took his bedframe out of his room so he can't stuff things under it anymore.

Sigh...

Sick Kids

Shoot me -- both kids have been SOOO sick. Connor starting coughing again Thursday, after his croup had cleared up, and then spiked a fever late Thursday afternoon. By Friday morning he had an ear infection AND bronchitis. He was miserable sick Friday and alot of Saturday. Then today, Duncan woke up with a 102 degree fever. But his is the flu -- UGH. So he's on tamiflu and hopefully we caught it early.

My whole house is contagious!

The Quick and Painless Enneagram Test

Yep, this is me to a T.

the Adventurer Test finished!

you chose AX - your Enneagram type is SEVEN. "I am happy and open to new things" Adventurers are energetic, lively, and optimistic. They want to contribute to the world. How to Get Along with Me Give me companionship, affection, and freedom. Engage with me in stimulating conversation and laughter. Appreciate my grand visions and listen to my stories. Don't try to change my style. Accept me the way I am. Be responsible for youself. I dislike clingy or needy people. Don't tell me what to do. What I Like About Being a Seven being optimistic and not letting life's troubles get me down being spontaneous and free-spirited being outspoken and outrageous. It's part of the fun. being generous and trying to make the world a better place having the guts to take risks and to try exciting adventures having such varied interests and abilities What's Hard About Being a Seven not having enough time to do all the things I want not completing things I start not being able to profit from the benefits that come from specializing; not making a commitment to a career having a tendency to be ungrounded; getting lost in plans or fantasies feeling confined when I'm in a one-to-one relationship Sevens as Children Often are action oriented and adventuresome drum up excitement prefer being with other children to being alone finesse their way around adults dream of the freedom they'll have when they grow up Sevens as Parents are often enthusiastic and generous want their children to be exposed to many adventures in life may be too busy with their own activities to be attentive Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele The Enneagram Made Easy Discover the 9 Types of People HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages You are not completely happy with the result?! You chose AX Would you rather have chosen: BX (NINE) CX (TWO) AY (EIGHT) AZ (THREE)

Link: felk on The Quick and Painless ENNEAGRAM Test written by Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

A Tale of Adoption

Easter a few years back was a very sad time at my work. One of the managers at work, Blaine, was just the nicest guy. He had two teenage boys, was active in his church.... We came to work on Easter Monday to find out Blaine's boys, Wes & Andy, had been out with their two best friends Friday night, and three of the four boys had been killed in a car accident that was caused by the driving of the fourth. Blaine & his wife lost their only children to a moment of teenage carelessness. It's one of the reasons I get so incensed at the teenage idiots in my neighborhood -- I've seen what can happen!

For a long while, Blaine was just... hollow. He gradually seemed more "normal", but still a shadow of sadness. Fastforward to Mother's Day 2005. Charles & the kids and I saw Blaine come into Mayberry's with his wife, whose arm was in a sling (she'd had a fall at church that morning). Long story short, as I was talking to them, Blaine shared they were working on adopting a little girl from China. (I'm getting to the point of the story soon, I PROMISE.) It really uplifted alot of us to know they were adopting -- Blaine has said he wasn't done being a parent. They are #2 in line to go, and hope to go to China in May... I had lunch with Blaine one day and we were talking about adoption... he was sharing some of the obnoxious comments he's gotten on it... "Why do you have to go to China to get a child?!" I loved Blaine's answer to this one "Because that's where she is!" I am always really stunned by people who get negative reactions when they adopt. I was reading a friend's blog today and this story came to mind because someone was asking her about her youngest who was adopted from China. Another lady at work came home in November with a son from Guatemala. Other friends from work just celebrated their adopted daughter's 6th birthday -- they got her when she was 2 days old -- their son is 12 I think. When Lisa got her daughter, she commented to me about how supportive I'd been through their process, and how few people were. It just surprises me. I always think people who adopt are like "extra special" parents!

The Energizer Bunny

Know who Mahalia Jackson is? I just downloaded a song by her for my MP3 player… “Walk in Jerusalem” (from the Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood soundtrack). Good stuff! I also picked up “You Raise Me Up” by Josh Groban, “Lady Marmalade” by Patti LaBelle, and “Misled” by Kool and the Gang. Cynthia, are you reading? Add Kool and the Gang to your disco list!

Do you ever look back and realize you’ve really changed from who you used to be? Does it bug you like it bugs me? I know some changes are inevitable, driven by the choices we’ve made. Getting an MP3 player for Valentine’s has made me realize how much I’ve missed “my” music. Charles and I have VERY different tastes. Somehow I’ve just stopped listening like I used to. I guess with all the “noise” of a family I couldn’t handle more.

I have some great friends. One of my very handy friends is coming up in a week or two, and we’re going to toss all three boys out and get some badly needed home repairs (like recaulking my bathtub & weather-stripping the doors)… I feel so… energized this morning. There’s a technical term for when databases on computers get locked up by conflicting requests – they can have deadly embraces or simply an enqueue. I think that’s where Charles and I are in our relationship at the moment – we just can’t seem to get forward motion. Maybe this outside influence, someone to energize me (by home repairs of all things) will be good for us?

Awesome Quote

You gotta go read it, it's great. Find it here! For those of you too lazy, here it is:

“If you hear that someone is speaking ill of you, instead of trying to defend yourself you should say: "He obviously does not know me very well, since there are so many other faults he could have mentioned" ^Epictetus^

Read Your Phone Bills!

Mine was higher than normal this month, so I went out to read it... and there is a $14.95 charge (plus tax & some 5 cent fee) for "internet services" from ILD Telecom. I've filed a complaint with the phone company already, but I looked it up on the web and this is a company with MANY complaints to the FCC. Great... now I gotta figure out how to get them out of my life. UGH!!!

Updates...

The crop on Saturday was GREAT! I got 23 pages done, and had a lovely time. Of course I was wrecked alot on Sunday and Monday, but I really enjoyed it.

My Scrappin' Survivor team lost immunity Saturday, but I survived the vote. I've already gotten another 5 pages done and submitted them, including my favorite which is posted over on the photo blog. Our challenge for this week is to scrap about things/people that have happened in the last year -- kind of wrecks my momentum on old stuff, but I'd like to get more pages done before this challenge is up. The other team has someone on exile island, so I'm hoping we make it harder for her to escape exile.

Connor came down with croup -- he sounded horrible this morning. They put him on steroids at the doctor's office, and we have already seen a remarkable improvement. Charles had a counseling appointment today -- she doesn't see him again for a month. I really have struggled lately -- Charles and I are having differences, and while I think his current mindframe (re: Bipolar Disease) is better, I don't feel like we are where we need to be. I just struggle with the next steps.

Tonite I'm going to be a TV junkie -- flipping between American Idol and the Olympics. Last thought for the day (I saw this on Amy's blog) -- even if you don't have anything tremendous to say, drop me a "Hello" in the comments once in a while so I know you were here, ok?

"Relationship Rescue" by Dr. Phil

This book has been recommended to me as something that might improve things between me and Charles. I just looked it up on Amazon... wonder if Charles would do it?

I need to rearrange our banking situation -- he sneaked another $20 out of the ATM today. I know overspending is a tendency of folks with bipolar... but he's gonna bankrupt us!!

Now to say something nice, since I've been a poison pen lately... my favorite scrapbook store has a quarterly all day crop, which happens to be tomorrow. Charles is letting me go ALL day and keeping the kids. I did have to "bribe" him with a $23 book from Amazon.Com, but I'm sooo looking forward to a day of peace and creativity.

And then...

So after twelve minutes of effort (yes, I timed it) my sink has improved, not quite to fly lady shiny sink standards, but better, and the dishwasher is running.

And so start the tears. Is this me, that I'm just "lazy" or "selfish" that I don't just pitch in? What is HE doing to maintain our marriage and our home. What kind of mom am I that I allow our kids to be in the middle of this? Burning questions that I wish I had answers to.

I'm so frustrated....

Yes, it really is 4am. Charles is snoring like a wounded chainsaw, and I just can't get back to sleep.

I just posted some really upsetting (to me) pictures to my photo blog of the state of my house. Another blogger that I follow posted about something recently, and noted that she wanted help keeping herself honest, so I'm trying to keep ME honest that I have some issues to work through.

Two years ago, Charles begged for the opportunity to be a stay at home dad. We talked about how this wasn't being unemployed, it was making being our "domestic engineer" his job, and what I was expected to do with housework, which wasn't much. We agreed upon this.

Go look at the picture of my kitchen sink. Go look at the picture of my youngest son's room -- I've posted about shoveling it out recently, and look where it is tonite. I don't feel very blessed at the moment, yet I feel like doing it myself is allowing him to coast. I don't feel taken care of. We disagree, and sometimes even fight on a regular basis about how I don't "appreciate him". Would y'all appreciate being taken care of like this? Would you let a 5 yr old's room get to this state and blame it on him?

I know he has a disease (bi-polar depression) that can be debilatating at times. But what I don't know is how he can think he is doing his part for our family. He's so hard to fight with -- he's very good at emotional blackmail. He pouts. He sulks. He blames it on the fact that I don't show him enough how much I love him. Well I love him, but I don't like him very much right now. KWIM?

Monday Mutterings

Well, today was ... interesting. It was hell on wheels at work, that's what I get for staying home with a sick kid on Friday. Connor's toe continues to improve.

After work we headed to the card store to get valentines for the kids to give -- sheesh, after cards, small gifts for teachers... we spent $25! After dinner I sat the kids down to address their valentines. Even Connor in preschool can sign his name to the cards.

We talked to our friends Lisa & Bob -- they had an eventful weekend. Apparently the exhaust for their dryer had gotten clogged, and it caught their dryer on fire (flames!) and burned it up. Luckily they had a smoke detector in the laundry room and discovered it very quick, but the dryer and the contents are a loss. We took a couple of hand-me-down coats over as their almost 2 yr old's winter coat was in the dryer. Made me feel useful to fill that void so Lisa didn't have to hurry and hunt a coat.

After dinner Charles let me open my Valentine's present -- an MP3 player, just like his. I've already loaded it with 128 songs and am happily listening. Tomorrow at work will be cool!

Still Blah

I don't know what has gotten into me lately... I don't feel "depressed", but I sure have the blahs. Nothing interests me, I'm not motivated to do anything, and all I want to do is sleep.

Connor's toe is improving -- it's not nearly as swollen and the soaking is helping to eliminate the horrid drainage. He's not complaining about it, and is rather proud that he has medicine too. Both kids have been little beasts this weekend... sassy, disrespectful, shouting, fighting, uncooperative. I really haven't enjoyed any of the males in the house this weekend.

On an up note, I am starting a game of Scrappin' Survivor tomorrow on one of my lists. Hopefully that will kickstart me a bit. I'm still knitting on my knifty looms -- made Duncan & Charles hats, and am now working on Connor's.

I was very sad to see Michelle Kwan have to withdraw from the Olympics, although it shows what a class act she is.

Anyways, I'm still here, just not very motivated to write anything.

Friday

Poor Connor -- little guy has an infected toe at the base of his nail. It's oozing pus and just looks gnarly! He started anti-biotics this morning after his doctor's visit, and we have to get him to sit still and soak his toe. Best estimate is he'll be doing better in a couple of days.

I on the other hand am suffering from a stiff neck/shoulder morning, and just the general blahs. Sigh!

Thursday Surprise

See what we woke up to? Two hour delay for school, and I'm afraid the snow might not be here when they get home. Duncan had a field trip today, which I suspect is not going to happen now. Ah well, they were very excited to wake up to this!

Seriously PROUD Mama

Duncan's pack had their "Blue/Gold" banquet/den meeting tonite. One of the activities was a father/son dessert contest.
There were 3 awards -- best scout theme, "wish mom had helped", and best in class. Duncan made "Fluff", a diabetic friendly dessert, and all dad did was help stir. And he won best in Class!!! GO DUNCAN!!!

Kharma is a bitch, and lives in my neighborhood!

It's been a LONG while since I got wound about the idiot teenagers in my neighborhood. They do STUPID unsafe stuff. I've called the police on two occasions, and been blessed out by neighbors over it. So I now try to ignore it and simply keep my kids safe.

Well... we've got one teen who speeds up and down the street constantly. Apparently he almost hit the neighbors dog this morning. And he got a MAJOR chew out by the neighbor... I'm still laughing. Scott went postal on him (Scott has two teenagers) and George deserved every single word of it. I do so enjoy when I'm not the only one with a concern. Sorry, George, kharma is a BITCH!